Saturday 8 October 2011


Remember I showed you all a screen shot of my college work? Looked pretty cool right? Turns out I done it all wrong, I clearly didn't understand what my tutor said.. So now I have to do it all over again, I have to do three presentations by tomorrow (because I'm not around to hand them in next Friday) I don't even know where to start, I am going to start with 21st century and do 9/11 because that changed Travel and Tourism forever. I don't know anything about 9/11 because I couldn't care less about it! I think I don't care for it because I don't want to understand it I don't want to be scared of flying and stuff like that. I already hate it. I fly all the time I've even been on a 10 hour flight but I can't stand flying and I think I'm scared if I look deeper into 9/11 it will scare me even more. Shame I'm flying tomorrow and have to do a paper on 9/11 I may decide to do the paper on 7/7 bombing but that isn't as big as the 9/11 so it could be harder to write about. I will ask my mum what she thinks when she gets home. I hope she will help me out a little bit because I'm stuck. I'm normally great with writing and stuff like this, I really get stuck into my work, I'd give me a 10/10 for getting stuck into stuff. I start and can't stop. I've always loved creative writing. I love love love find out new things and I don't get why this is so hard for me.

Last night I noticed I've not taken my medication on over 3 months, I think it is finally hitting me. I've had some pretty bad days the last 3  months but I've always been able to pull myself through the bad times, but this week has been something rotten to me. My life just don't rate me right now. I've had some excellent news like getting past round one with Thomas Cook but I can't focus on the happiness when so many things want to pull me back down. I not even on ground level I'm in hell right now. My minds telling kill myself but my body isn't letting me. I feel really low and I have no one to talk to it about. I have made some super good lovely new friends in the last 3 months whom I'm going on my girls holiday with (depending on if I'm working or not) but I still don't have anyone who understands me. I only understand me and I can't talk to me about it because me is trying to kill me. If you get me. I bet you don't get me no one does these days. 

Anyways I better go I have 3 presentations to write before tomorrow afternoon. 

Take care and God bless you all <3

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