Monday 3 January 2011

Eating disorders?

eating disorders!

I may be a big girl and I may love my food but I've gone for one eating disorder to another... TAKE A LOOK
That website explains more. I've always been a person to sit there pig out because I'm depressed and upset and not care what people have to say, the food made me happy. I was happy while I eat my food. 
These are just a few of what I had...

  • Fear of not being able to control eating, and while eating, not being able to stop.

  • Isolation. Fear of eating around and with others.

  • Chronic dieting on a variety of popular diet plans.

  • Holding the belief that life will be better if they can lose weight. 

    • Mood swings. Depression. Fatigue.
    • Insomnia. Poor Sleeping Habits.  
    Now, all I can think about is being sick, bring up the food I ate, I make myself feel like shit even if I have a bite of food, I cry each time I have to have a meal and if I could go upstairs and bring it all up I would, but that would mean facing it and telling my mum how I feel! I'd rather express myself to a bunch of judgmental teens than my own mother...

  • Obsession with weight and complaining of weight problems (even if "average" weight or thin).

  • Obsession with calories and fat content of foods.

  • Obsession with continuous exercise. 

  • Low self-esteem. Feeling worthless. Often putting themselves down and complaining of being "too stupid" or "too fat" and saying they don't matter. Need for acceptance and approval from others. 

    1. Keeping a "food diary" or lists that consists of food and/or behaviors (ie., purging, restricting, calories consumed, exercise, etc.)
    2. Pre-occupied thoughts of food, weight and cooking.
    3. Visiting websites that promote unhealthy ways to lose weight
    4. People may be reading this thinking, your only going on a diet why are you now looking for attention, well thing is I'm really not! I honestly want to be sick now I've just eaten, I started to cry at the thought of eating my mince. I now want to run to the bathroom sick it up and know that none of them awful calories are inside my fat ugly body!  God help me please </3 I start college on Wednesday, I'm scared. I know I'll be tempted to have my normal morning coffee/latte and I'll want to munch on a sandwich but I'll want to be sick after. I really wish I could end my life right now... Not sure why I'm even typing this... I guess it makes me feel better knowing someone out there could help me, someone out their could read my life story and say I can help you Charlene don't worry about all of this, this is normal  just your hormones or some bullshit like that! </3 

    1 comment:

    1. :O leeney =( I LOVE you no matter what ur weight is!!! there is nothing rong with u!!! please dont do anythin unhealthy cos i deffo dnt wanna lose ya...
      love ya xxx